In any interaction with other people, hurt feelings, disagreements, and personal failures are inevitable. The key to building relationships that last is not avoiding conflicts or problems, but knowing how to respond to them.
I tried to swallow the fear that surged within me, but I couldn’t keep it down. I desperately wanted to believe it was nothing, but this hadn’t happened to me before and I was already well into the second trimester.
This is part 2 of yesterday’s post. I’m going to skip the introduction and just resume the story. If you haven’t already, go back and read part 1 here. Today’s post ends in a dark place, but be assured the light is coming! Please come back tomorrow and don’t leave the story hanging here.
THY WILL BE DONE
Sure enough, less than two weeks later, I knew I was pregnant even sooner than I was physically supposed to be able to know. I felt the awareness of new life within me almost immediately. I can’t explain this and I did not have a similar experience with any of my other pregnancies, but somehow this time was different.
I wish I could tell you that I was overjoyed that God’s will was done in my life, but I would be lying. I continued to struggle with my attitude and though outwardly compliant, inwardly I was having a very hard time surrendering. I still wasn’t convinced I was ready for this challenge. I still doubted if God would come through. I looked ahead to yet another move looming on the horizon and wondered how I could give birth and move at the same time.
Some topics are easier to write about than others. What I am about to share falls firmly in the “difficult to write about” camp. It’s not a part of my life I talk about openly or often, but when I planned this writing project on the Lord’s Prayer, only one subject came to mind for “Thy Will Be Done”.
I’ve tried to come up with something else. (That’s why this post is delayed and out-of-order in the series.) But everywhere I look, this one thing stares at me like an elephant in the room that refuses to leave no matter how much I try to ignore it. I’m interpreting this as a gentle nudge from God that it’s time to share.
My story is painful and messy and I’d rather avoid it but I’m writing brave today because I believe God has a message for you in my story. This is the reason I write. So please read gently and without judging, listening for the message God would whisper to your heart today.
I’m not sure which is more nerve-wracking: keeping young children from playing in the street, teaching your older child how to drive, or letting her drive alone. My teen daughter had just left the house and had only been gone 10 minutes when my phone rang. Not good.
She opened with, “It’s not an emergency and no one is dead.” I have trained her well. Relief and joy, mixed with a hint of pride.
“But it is urgent and I do need your help.” Bummer. I just got back home.
“I think I ran out of gas and I’m stuck in the turn lane in front of the gas station.” Disappointment turned to anxiety as I was already imagining her being rear-ended and seriously injured.